There are certain things every Whisky geek does in the privacy of their own homes, and if you’re a person who lives with a Whisky geek, you get a rare glimpse into the Secret Life of Whisky Drinkers.
1. The Whisky Cabinet is the most important piece of furniture in the house
It holds all of the precious Whisky bottles, so it’s obviously more important than your grandmother’s china cabinet. Who needs a cabinet for plates or ornaments when you can fill it with nice looking Whisky bottles and get the same effect? And Whisky is more appealing than family heirlooms anyway.
2. It is totally fine to take a day off work if you’re expecting an important bottle to arrive
Bottles are precious and it’s only right that you sacrifice a day’s annual leave to be at home when that important package arrives. You would take a day off for the birth of your children, so why not for the arrival of your Whisky bottles? It makes perfect sense.
3. Lining up your bottles to admire them is perfectly acceptable
They’re all so beautiful, and some of them probably cost a lot of money, so it would be a waste not to line them up to gaze lovingly at them. Whisky bottles are a true work of art as well, so it’s basically like going to a museum, only it’s in your house and people don’t judge you for touching the exhibits.
4. Holding a bottle in your arms like it’s your first born child is normal
This is especially true if it’s your favourite dram. And anyway, Whisky is probably a better investment than children, since it doesn’t talk back or keep you up at night (unless you drink too much, but that’s your own fault). Cradling a bottle like it’s your first born is perfectly acceptable.
5. It’s not only the Whisky that matters, but the glassware as well
There is more to being a Whisky geek than just enjoying a dram or two. It’s all about how you drink it as well. And with that, comes a lot of different glassware for different occasions. Tasting it? Get a tulip glass. Having friends over? Get some tumblers. Cocktail night? Nothing but a highball glass will do. Glassware is as important to Whisky drinking as having the right sportswear is to athletes.
6. Putting rocks in your Whisky is fine
Of course they’re Whisky rocks, and they’re not so much rocks as granite cubes you use to cool your drink without having to put ice in it.
7. Putting ice in your Whisky is not fine
No ice. Ever. This might even be grounds for divorce, it’s that serious.
8. Everything in your home can be associated with Whisky in some way.
Need a new sofa? Get one made out of a Whisky barrel. Looking for some wall art? Vintage Whisky ads are perfect for that. And of course, who needs candleholders when you can just repurpose a Whisky bottle. Whisky is the drink that keeps on giving (whether you want it to or not)
9. Calling your pets and/ or children after Whisky is a great way to pay homage to your favourite brands
How’s little Johnnie (middle name Walker)? Or your cats, Jack and Daniels? It is inevitable that all Whisky geeks will surely suggest you call your offspring or any new pets after their favourite brands. Which isn’t too bad if those are normal names. Lets all take a moment to feel sorry for any child out there called Laphroaig.
10. There is a Whisky for every occasion
New job? There’s a Whisky for that. New car? Celebrate with a Whisky! Clean sheet night? Crack open a Macallan and enjoy it! There is a Whisky for literally every occasion. No matter what it may be, there will definitely be a dram out there that tastes perfect when celebrating it.
11. Whisky is a perfectly acceptable gift no matter how long you’ve been together
Whisky geeks are great to buy presents for. All you have to get them is Whisky. Whether it’s their favourite bottle for the tenth time, or a new and innovative bottle for the first time, there is so much to explore, and any Whisky lover will appreciate you sharing in their passion.
12. Every meal is improved with Whisky
While it’s not recommended to have Whisky at breakfast, there is definitely going to be a Whisky that goes with breakfast. And your favourite Whisky geek will know exactly what that is. And they also know what the best Whisky for lunch and dinner are. In fact, they even know the best Whisky to go with your mid afternoon snack.
13. Every bookshelf must be filled with books about Whisky at all times
Whisky geeks don’t become Whisky geeks overnight. It takes years of cultivating lots of knowledge about Whisky. Therefore, ever bookshelf in your home is probably covered in books about Whisky. Each one is probably falling apart from overuse but there they remain, ready to be picked up and consulted at any time.
14. There is a Whisky for every season
Every three months, it’ll be time to celebrate a new season, and with each new season, comes a new Whisky. One to cool off in the Summer, one to go with the leaves in Autumn, one to warm you up in the Winter and one to revitalise you for the Spring.
15. Why drink anything else when you can drink Whisky?
Whisky is everything. Understanding this when you live with a Whisky geek is the key to a harmonious life.